


Next Lifetime

by Sommersets



Category: South Park
Genre: Afterlife, Alternate Universe - Hell, Death & Reincarnation, Humor, M/M, Minor Violence, Romance, in which hell is a bureaucracy, minor bdsm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-11
Updated: 2020-05-11
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:27:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24123574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sommersets/pseuds/Sommersets
Summary: "Am I in heaven?" The redhead laughed in his face as if he had just delivered the punchline to a joke."Oh, you were serious.""No. This is this third layer of hell."
Relationships: Kyle Broflovski/Craig Tucker
Comments: 5
Kudos: 44
Collections: Cryle Week 2020





	Next Lifetime

"Craig Tucker. Age 25. Killed by a hit and run driver. Time of death: June 13th, 10:15 am, cause of death: self-negligence, J-walking while wearing airpods." A young man, dressed in business casual and sitting poised on an office chair read off the report clutched in his hands. 

He recalled the violent screeching of tires, the acrid smell of burning asphalt and then, nothing. But, miraculously, he was now standing here unscathed, but minus a heartbeat, in front of a very bored looking redhead sitting in an office cubicle. And, on top of it all, being told that he was in fact- already dead. 

  
  


"This folder represents all the highs and lows of your life." He picked up a Manila folder off the table. As he examined the contents, the redhead frowned. "You didn't do anything special in your life. Your acts of good don't outweigh the bad. Must be why you're here."

"Am I in heaven?" The redhead laughed in his face as if he had just delivered the punchline to a joke. 

"Oh, you were serious." 

He gave a pointed glance towards his charge. 

"No. This is this third layer of hell." 

"So... you're not an angel?" Craig asked, bewildered by the unsettling revelation. 

The young man that received him looked every bit like the angels he read about in storybooks. He had a face that could only be described as cherubic, with striking green eyes framed by crimson curls. 

"No. I am a denizen of hell, assigned to you as part of your re-education." A pleasant smile graced blood red lips as he introduced himself. "Lesser demon, rank number 466 in service to his dark majesty. My true name is reserved for my superiors. But, You - may call me Kyle." 

Folding his hands neatly in his lap, Kyle leaned forwards in his chair and addressed him.

"To ascend, you must atone for all your past sins. And, _I_ will be in charge of handing out your punishments." There was a feral glint in his green eyes as he delivered the last line of his exposition. 

Craig gulped. 

  
  
  


* * *

  
  


He lost the track of passing time as the days gradually melded into each other. Kyle's idea of torture was actually more along the lines of minor inconveniences. The latest punishments he was subjected to include having his pizza delivery held like a briefcase and all his music replaced with baby shark. Craig avoided that punishment by removing his airpods from his ears and moving them down to his pocket. Needless to say, Kyle thought it was all nefarious torture and Craig had to give credit where it was due. The latter scheme was pretty diabolical _if_ he had to endure it. 

He could feel the hairs on the back of his neck standing up as the faint sounds of baby shark permeated the air. Well, on the plus side, at least he got to enjoy his pizza and Kyle’s demonic company. 

However, his easy afterlife in hell soon came to an end when evaluation day rolled around. 

Craig could make out the unfathomable cruelty in charcoal black eyes as rough, clawed hands gripped his forearm. The head demon, a stout, but otherwise ordinary-looking man dressed in a business suit took one look at him before throwing him down into the pit. 

“Number four hundred and sixty-six, explain to me why this sinner has made zero progress towards redemption.”

"The punishment needs to befit the crime." Kyle blanched, “I see no reasons to punish him beyond what he deserves. He committed very minor sins in life, and I-”

“He will be sentenced to live burial as a punishment to make up for the slack and your failings.” The head demon interrupted. The pit began to fill up with conjured grave dirt, and Kyle could only watch and not intervene. 

When the other demon had left, the redheaded demon threw a shovel down into the pit. 

"Dig faster." Kyle ordered from above. With every shovel of grave dirt he lifted, more rained down on him from above. Monitoring his slow progress, Kyle sighed and told him that at the rate he was going, he would be lucky to finish in 5 years. "Look, you either dig or be buried in it." 

Since his body didn't hunger or tire, the work was not exactly difficult, just tedious. Kyle had smiled down at him, unveiling a small set of fangs and encouraged him to continue. Craig wondered when it would ever end. 

After a few hours of making no progress, Craig resigned himself to being buried alive in the pit. The demon above him had said that it was an option and he would rather just accept his punishment. Kyle scowled in disapproval but otherwise did not move to intercede. In less than 10 minutes, the dark-haired man was completely buried.

"Well, I guess that's enough for today." Slim hands grasped his collar and hauled him out of the earthen pit. 

"Thanks." Craig was grateful to be rescued from his predicament. Kyle only rolled his eyes in return. 

"I think I’ll stick with the classics. How do you feel about getting drenched in icy rain?" 

  
  
  


On the 186th day of his stay in hell, Craig made his move. Nevermind that the kiss left a searing pain on his lips. 

He closed his eyes, bracing for a slap, but it never came. Cautiously, he opened his eyes. 

“Touch me again and I’ll break your fingers.” Kyle’s face was turning furiously red. 

“Can I request a different kind of punishment?” Craig moved towards the walls and lifted the cat o’ nine tails off the rack of torture instruments. 

Kyle wouldn’t lift his eyes to look at him. Despite his efforts to hide it, Kyle was flustered. Adorably flustered. 

“Fuck you, Craig. I’m gonna hit you with a morning star.” 

Craig grinned, so there was a chance in hell after all. 

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> The central theme of this story is inspired by the Chilling Adventures of Sabrina and The Good Place. 
> 
> This was written for Cryle Week Day 2 - Crossover, but might be multichapter if this idea generates any interest. I could see it working up to Craig’s eventual redemption and reincarnation.


End file.
